Let's get a room

So there I am in my stylish hospital gown and aqua Crocs all hooked up to the monitors when one of the doctors from my Ob's office stops by. I'm thinking, "Great she's coming to set up some follow up appointments and I get to go home and relax." Time for some ice cream! Not quite, she was coming to tell me that I had to stay over night to continue the monitoring. Not what I had expected but I could make it work as long as either my SO or my mother could stay in the room and keep me company. Well they could keep me company alright but not quite in my own room as I had expected not even in a shared room with another unsuspecting pregnant woman. Nope I had to get hooked up in the triage area while I waited on a room to become available. If you're unfamiliar with what the triage of labor and delivery is like let me just tell you that it's akin to what pregnancy purgatory must be like. Not quite able to go home but not able to get settled into a room either.

The worst part of this in between state was the bed pans. I could take the no privacy. I could take the not having a TV. I could even manage to deal with the constant stream of happy new mothers, babies, and well wishers. But I could NOT deal with not having a toilet. The closest toilet was right around the corner, but due to my "condition" I wasn't allowed to leave my bed. Well I wasn't aware that I had contracted a condition during my wait to be seen. But wait, isn't condition the term that they use for people that are about to die of a mysterious aliment? If I was about to die the least that they could do was let me take my last piss in private. Now I'm no Miss Priss or anything but I do like to keep what happens in the bathroom private. I've never been the type to skinny dip, streak, or do other naked things in front of large groups of people. And to me a large group in this context is more than one. I have, on occasion, peed in front of a few girlfriends but only with the assistance of my main men Jose or Senor Patron, even then I made sure to twist and turn in order to maintain some sense of modesty.

I was able to hold onto my modesty in this situation for about half a second before I HAD to go. As I hoisted my swollen pregnant body up onto that bed pan I thought, "could it get any better than this?" Oh boy did it get better. Each time that I had to complete that acrobatic feat it got better and better as my gown got looser and looser. Yes I was super sexy.