Thanksgiving 2011

It is important to remember what the holiday season is all about. In class I had my students share what they were thankful for. When the question was turned on me I gave the generic answer of "my family". However, if I thought that they actually were actually interested in my schpeal I could have certainly elaborated. I have so many things to be thankful for and most, if not all, somehow seem to relate right back to my son. I ask myself daily if it's normal for me to love someone as much as I love my child. 

I am most thankful....
That on August 19, 2010 I checked my blood pressure and listened when my mom advised me to email the doctor. 

I was able to receive both steroid shots before I had to be induced. 

That on August 21, 2010 I delivered a small but healthy baby boy who only needed to be on CPAP for a few hours after birth. 

That on October 2, 2010 I was finally able to bring the most beautiful baby boy home. 

Every day that I look into that handsome face and feel loved. 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Prematurity Awareness Day

It's only right that I had a total reawakening during the month of November which is a month dedicated to raising the awareness of the seriousness of prematurity. I found myself engrossed with all things surrounding November 17, 2011, Prematurity Awareness Day. I needed to be surrounded by women that understood what it meant to be ashamed or guarded about your birth story. I needed to be surrounded by women that knew why a preemie mom sometimes cries for what appears to others as no reason. I just needed a virtual hug, but what I received was so much better. I had been a part of a preemie group of fb for some time but during November I started frequenting the page more often. From that group I had gained a few friends on fb and one of those friends happened to post something about what it means to be a preemie mom. I found myself nodding and relating to everything that was written in that status.
 It was like that status opened something inside of me that was just waiting to spill out. I began writing things that I couldn't verbalize to anyone around me because it wasn't part of their experience. From there I created a list of what I felt November 17, 2011 was about. 

Prematurity Awareness Day Is..

For any parent who has ever had to stand next to an incubator watching their new arrival hooked up to machines designed to complete functions that their frail body was unable to handle. 
For any mother who has ever cried at the mere sight of a big round pregnant belly robbed from her. 
Any mother who has had to refrain herself from choking the random stranger complaining about being too pregnant and uncomfortable. 
For any parent who's heart has stopped beating at the sound of a phone ringing in the middle of the night.

 Any parent who has ever counted cc's and grams as if they were moving weight on the neighborhood street corner.
For any parent who has ever watched another parent yell at their child for a small infraction only to wish that they would realize how lucky they are to have their child there to yell at. 
 For any parent who has 3 dates etched in their memory; the day your child was born, their due date, and the day they came home.
 Any parent who carries a gallon of hand sanitizer and face masks in their diaper bag.

 For any parent who has ever been asked their child's age and then given the side eye for their answer.
 Any parent that has ever been asked if their kid is doing xyz and then given the look of pity because they weren't.
For any parent who has celebrated that their child is finally on the growth charts, even if they are only in the 2nd percentile.
Any parent who has gone into the nursery and wept until their head hurt at the sight of an empty crib waiting for a baby that may not come home for days, weeks, or even months. 
For any parent who understands that Preemie is secretly code for God's grace and mercy. 

But most importantly, for any parent who has ever heard, "I'm sorry but it was just too early. We tried everything we could."
 Wear purple on Thursday in support of any parent who bears the weight of having a Preemie because although our children may be "on track" we will never forget where they started from.

If you suffer, thank God! -- it is a sure sign that you are alive. --Elbert Hubbard